{"id":8179,"date":"2018-09-26T21:19:27","date_gmt":"2018-09-27T01:19:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.katherinespinney.com\/prepare-new-management-position-copy\/"},"modified":"2021-11-05T18:50:58","modified_gmt":"2021-11-05T18:50:58","slug":"cat-mice-treats-lesson-life-and-leadership","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.logoworks.com\/ksc2\/cat-mice-treats-lesson-life-and-leadership\/","title":{"rendered":"A Cat, Some Mice and a Whole Lot of Treats: A Lesson on Life and Leadership"},"content":{"rendered":"

MY LAST RESORT<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I got a cat as a last resort. I had recently moved to Baltimore, and less than a month later, a family of mice moved in with me. In order to evict them, there was nothing I would not and did not try- traps, poison, sticky strips, peppermint spray, tears, plug-in noise repellant, and four visits from an exterminator. I set traps with peanut butter. And then a little chocolate. Then peanut butter and chocolate, only to wake up in the morning to find the peanut butter\/chocolate mix gone but no mouse in the trap. After all of it, I caught one mouse and watched the rest each night run disgustingly, unabashedly across my kitchen floor. When I couldn\u2019t take it anymore, I locked myself in my room, thought about moving, and made the decision to get a cat. Although I never really liked cats, I realized I disliked mice more, so that\u2019s how Selina came to be- my tuxedo-style, slightly overweight, clingy, strange, meows-all-the-time last resort.<\/span><\/p>\n

Slowly but surely, Selina and I got used to one another. We developed a type of routine with our sleeping, feeding and play times and respected each other\u2019s space. Every few months, these routines seem to shift and we adjust accordingly. It keeps things fresh, I suppose.<\/span><\/p>\n

But one morning, I realized that, while I was taking care of Selina\u2019s needs, I wasn\u2019t doing much more than that. I fed and brushed her, cleaned her litter box and made sure she always had water but it was somewhat mechanical and detached. I b<\/span>\"lifeegan to wonder if she could sense that. Or if maybe she was bored. Or needed something else from me. I began to think about creating a better environment for her. After all, she was doing her job of keeping the mice away, she was on her 3rd<\/sup> home in as many years and I was, most certainly, grateful for the peace she provided. So I went the store and got her some toys and treats as a token of my gratitude and appreciation. Through a process of trial and error (and far too many trips to Petco) I learned that she only really likes to play with string and bottlecaps and that she\u2019s never met a treat she doesn\u2019t like (though tuna is her favorite.)<\/span><\/p>\n

And then I started to wonder about the treats. Was I only supposed to give them once in a while? Was I supposed to w<\/span>ait until she did something good? What was doing something good for a cat? Was it enough to reward her for not doing anything bad? Was it okay to simply do something nice for her because I could? In my position of power, was there some sort of lesson to be learned by withholding the treats to show her who was boss? Or was it better for both of us to shower her with thanks because she was doing her job and it made her happy? In that case, didn\u2019t we both win?<\/span><\/p>\n

THE MANY WAYS WE WITHHOLD APPRECIATION<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Throughout my time leading and being led, I have come across so many- too many- situations where the treats were being withheld for any number of reasons. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

* Like the time my boss told me he didn\u2019t compliment my work because it was expected of me and it would be an insult to my competence.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Like the time my boss told me she didn\u2019t praise employees because it created jealousy and resentment among the staff.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Like the time my supervisor docked me points on my annual evaluation because she couldn\u2019t give me a perfect score even though she had no other justification for doing so.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

* Like the time I was denied a promotion because the other person had been there longer, even though I was told I was more qualified. <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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OUR EXCUSES FOR WHY WE DON\u2019T SHOW OUR APPRECIATION <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

When I think about the above examples and the many others I have experienced and heard about from others throughout the years, some themes emerge as to why we don\u2019t show our appreciation as effectively as we should. This shows up in life as much as in our work. As you read through each theme, think of your work experiences over the years. Think of your relationships. What sounds all too familiar?<\/span><\/p>\n