The Pressure of Office Gift Giving

Welcome parties. Goodbye parties. Work anniversaries. Retirements. Boss’ Day. There are countless reasons and opportunities to celebrate big occasions and show gratitude in the workplace. In addition, there are people’s personal celebrations and accomplishments- birthdays, weddings, showers, graduations, housewarmings. Which do not only pertain to staff, depending on where you work. You may be also want to recognize board members, volunteers, donors, clients. There are so many reasons to celebrate, and celebrate we should. But the constant pressure of gift giving can make these otherwise joyous occasions feel burdensome. The pressure of office gift giving is real and it is time we put an end to it once and for all.

I am online a lot. And whenever it is a special day, I see an influx of posts from well-meaning bosses and office managers asking for gift ideas for (insert name here) to honor (insert occasion here). These can be for any number of people for any number of reasons and are most prevalent around larger shared holidays. Regardless of which one and regardless of which person, the request is the same: “What’s a good gift for….?”, a plea to a stranger over the Internet, hoping they will somehow know their staff better than they apparently do. It does not make much sense, yet I get it. There is a lot of pressure to buy just the right thing, and the pressure returns with each new cause for celebration. So let me release the burden from you. You do not need to buy a gift. Almost ever.

THE CHALLENGE WITH OFFICE GIFTS

I have received countless gifts over the years both as a staff and as a volunteer, gifts that have been costly but unwanted, cheap and unusable, cool but not for me. Most sit in a closet, some have been regifted, others have been donated or sold at a yard sale. Only a precious remaining few have ever been used in the manner in which they were intended. I am not saying this because I am difficult, picky or ungrateful. The thought, for the most part, was there, and I appreciate it- kind of, but I have to imagine the impact of receiving the gift does not match the expectation, nor the time, energy and cost of making that gift happen.

The noble intent of gift giving is to provide something the receiver will enjoy, use or embrace as a token of celebration or appreciation to mark the respective momentous occasion. This is really hard to do, even in our most personal and intimate relationships. When tasked with buying something for a colleague or worse the entire staff to reach this end, the job is nearly impossible. In that case, the generic coffee mug, car decal or oversized T-shirt serves a purpose, I suppose, but often that purpose begins to feel less like a thoughtful token and more like a burdensome obligation.  Outside of checking this unnecessary box of obligation, your gifts in most cases are not worth the time, stress and money they will cost you.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SHOWING APPRECIATION

Of course, you need to recognize and show appreciation for your staff and other organizational stakeholders. This is a non-negotiable and should be an intentional, central part of the way you operate. You need to commit to figuring out how to do this well so your staff and stakeholders actually feel recognized and appreciated. It is not an extra, good-if-I-have-the-time, gesture. It is a strategic and essential component of your leadership. If you choose not to invest time and energy into recognizing others, you will lose them. When it comes to staff specifically, nearly 80% of people who leave a job say that lack of recognition was a major factor for their leaving. Despite this, nearly 2/3 of people say that in any given year, they are not recognized even once. For an entire year.

Staff want and need to be recognized, praised and celebrated. There is no research that tells us otherwise. If you want to keep your staff around, you need to be intentional and consistent in generously offering that recognition and praise. And you can do it all without the gifts. I promise you.

To do this, the research supports what we already know to be true from personal experience- gifts are not necessary. In fact, 83% of respondents say that recognition for contributions is more fulfilling than any rewards or gifts. People are telling you, they do not want the gifts. Instead, they want you to recognize them in thoughtful, personalized ways. They want you to tell them how much you value and appreciate them. Your words, emails, cards and texts are worth far more to them than whatever logo’d tchotchke your budget allows.

If you insist on getting something in addition to- not in lieu of- your thoughtful recognition- one suggestion when it comes to staff is to give them money and/or time off instead of a gift. I know you cannot wrap these with a pretty bow, but I assure you, your staff will appreciate these far more than most anything else. For volunteers or organizations, consider public displays of gratitude, letters of recommendation or positive reviews.

IMPORTANT REMINDERS WHEN CELEBRATING YOUR STAFF (WITHOUT GIFTS!)

To effectively recognize and celebrate others, a few things to keep in mind. First be thoughtful and consistent about what will be recognized and how. If you decide to recognize birthdays, be sure to do so consistently, and if you decide to take people out for their birthdays be sure one is not getting a 5-star meal and the other a day-old lobby bagel (unless that makes them happy!) Personalized is good and fairness is as well. Same thing with other personal celebrations- weddings, babies, new homes, graduations, etc. Whatever you decide, be consistent.

Secondly, avoid asking your staff to give of their own money and time for said celebrations. If the company wants to spring for lunch or cake in the break room, fabulous. If you are asking staff to pay their own way plus a portion of the retiree’s dinner after hours, not so fabulous. Do not put the burden on your staff to use their own time and money to celebrate your employees or stakeholders. Be particularly conscience of this when the organizational chart is concerned. Asking your staff to chip in for a gift for the boss’ birthday when staff birthdays are not recognized is an easy way to alienate your team.

Different but related- be conscious of how frequently staff are being asked by colleagues to contribute money for various reasons that are not work related. Walkathons, cookie drives, school fundraisers, church raffles, MLMs, etc. are everywhere, and they can cause a lot of unnecessary tension, discomfort and resentment among coworkers. Be very clear about what you will allow and in what format (e.g. prohibiting it altogether or setting up a separate Slack channel just for this reason) and make sure it does not become one more onerous task to manage.

RELEASE YOURSELF FROM THE BURDEN OF OFFICE GIFTS

Showing and receiving praise should be celebratory for both parties involved. As the giver, it should be joyous for you too. Do not continue to carry the burden of finding a gift for any and every occasion and settle for something generic, unnecessary or unwanted just to say you did your due diligence. Instead, invest your time and energy into showing your appreciation sincerely, personally, intentionally and specifically. Sit down with your staff and stakeholders and tell them just how thankful you are. Shout them out at a meeting. Highlight them in your monthly newsletter. Write them a heartfelt card or email. Model and encourage people to do this for one another. This culture of gratitude will serve as thanks enough.