Hey, New Managers- It’s Not Your Fault, But It Is Your Responsibility

When someone denies us what we believe we deserve, it is natural to feel slighted, indignant and angry. It is easy to lament the loss of that which we believe we are due and get stuck in frustration, bitterness and blaming as a result. It exonerates us to point the proverbial finger outward and say, “Well, you were supposed to…” or “It’s not up to me to…” or “That wasn’t my responsibility.” These statements may be 100% true and they serve us no good whatsoever.

Life would be a much easier place if everyone did as they should. Unfortunately, this is not the life we live. People often shirk their responsibilities, lack follow through and choose to break promises and fall short of expectations. When we experience the consequences of these choices, we may feel cheated and justified in our righteous anger. And it will serve us no good whatsoever.

In the workplace, this shows up a lot. On an all too frequent basis, we are asked to deal with people who say they will get back to us and don’t, who swear they will send the payment but still haven’t, who promise us raises and promotions that then seem to slip their mind, who commit to providing support but always seem to be too busy to do so. This can feel helpless, defeating and unfair. And it will serve us no good whatsoever.

When you are hired for or moved to a managerial position, there should be ongoing support, training and development provided. We know by now that managing is a skillset entirely different from the skillset required on the front lines, and that just because you did your previous job well, doesn’t mean that will translate to managing well. We know by now that any new skill takes time to develop and do successfully. And we know by now that people need support in the form of training, resources, development and recognition to learn that new skill well. Yet we do not act accordingly.

Imagine getting a new client database that is intricate and requires great mastery to use effectively. And imagine not showing your staff how to use it but instead, simply wishing them well on their way. Ridiculous, right? Yet this is what we continue to do with our new managers. We bestow on them this enormous role, that all the research in the world tells us is largely responsible for most any outcome in the workplace, and we continue to provide them no support or development. Less than half of new managers receive any management training whatsoever. Less than half. Yet we continue to scratch our heads and wonder why they’re not doing their jobs well. Sigh.

If you are a manager and this is your situation, I empathize and I sympathize, as this was my own situation. And you better believe, I spent the first 6 months of my managerial journey complaining to any and everyone about the lack of support I received in an attempt to justify my terrible managing because it wasn’t my fault. No one ever taught me how to do it, so why should I be expected to do it well? It wasn’t my fault. Which is true. But it was still my responsibility to figure it out.

After too many months of pouting and self-pity, I realized that, while it may not have been my fault that I wasn’t receiving any support in my new managerial role, it was my responsibility to do something about it. Because I didn’t want to be a bad manager and I wasn’t going to become a good one without support. I understood the powerful effect I could have on my staff, having experienced the consequences both positive and negative, of the many supervisors I had had over the years. I knew one way or another that I wanted to use my powers for good. I wanted to be an effective leader, and even though I wanted my boss to help me get there, it wasn’t the reality of my situation. I had to figure it out for myself. And you may too.

If you work for a boss and an organization that have prepared you effectively for your managerial role and have supported you sufficiently along the way, consider yourself fortunate. These situations are not unheard of, but they are not the norm. I hope someday they will be. For now, most of us are put in a position where we need to self-advocate to receive the support we deserve. In some cases, this may be as simple as asking our boss for a mentor, a coach, a leadership class or permission to attend an upcoming conference. These may not be offered but may be approved upon request. In other cases, such requests may be denied, and we will be in the position of having to seek such support on our own. This is, quite clearly, not ideal, but do not lose hope, Kemosabe. There are free and affordable ways to develop your management skills that range from books to webinars to MeetUp groups. Seek and ye shall find. And while you’re at it, start seeking a new job too, because life is just too short to invest your time in an organization that refuses to invest in you.

It is true that when we are in leadership positions, we should receive support to fulfill those roles effectively. It is also true that this often does not happen. It is not your fault when it does not happen, but it is your responsibility to do something about it. For the sake of those you supervise, take your role seriously and become the best supervisor you can be.  Just as it was not fair that you did not receive support, it is not fair for you to deny that same support to those under your stead. However you came to be a manager and regardless of how much you like it, it is where you are, and while you are there, you owe it to those in your charge to do it well.

 As with all things in life, we have a choice to throw up our hands in defeat or do what we can to make our situations better. If you are serious about wanting to be a leader, know that people won’t follow people with their hands up in the air. They follow the ones with their nose to the grindstone, making things happen.

If you would like more support on becoming a more effective supervisor, we invite you to consider joining our value-packed, self-paced virtual course, From Struggling Supervisor to Thriving Leader. This course will give you everything you need to better support your staff while becoming a stronger leader. Start today and revisit the material as often as is helpful to you. Click the photo below to learn more.

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